As one who has traveled a big part of our beautiful state, I recently put together a travelogue of places I passed through and things I saw on an imaginary trip through our fascinating state. (Names in all capitals are actual places in Tennessee).
Starting out in MOSCOW, I made my journey in the general direction of PARIS. I passed through DENMARK, intending to make my way on to ROME, QUEBEK (Tennessee spelling), BELFAST, BERLIN, and eventually to ATHENS.
Passing through the HALLS of MONTEZUMA, I rounded a CURVE and saw NANKIPOO sitting on an INDIAN MOUND sharpening her HORNBEAK on a HOLLOW ROCK. With my FINGER I pointed to the one SPOT where I thought I had any PROSPECT of finding enough GOLD DUST to make a purchase at CASH POINT.
At CHRISTMASVILLE a female country crooner was singing ALTO to the accompaniment of a GOOSE HORN, while a bystander rang BELLS hanging from a BELL BUCKLE. The melody coming from her SWEETLIPS was beautiful but I had to hurry on to ST. BETHLEHEM!
Suddenly a large male deer loomed in my path. He gave a BUCKSNORT and charged PALL MALL through BULL'S GAP. If I had had my KODAK with me I would have taken a picture. While all of this was going on, a BUGSCUFFLE broke out. Feeling DEFEATED, I said to myself, “I NEEDMORE rest.” Pulling off the road, I stopped in the shade of a SUGAR TREE and took a cool drink of SWEETWATER.
Seeking some anonymity, I stopped off at NAMELESS, a village consisting of a few scattered houses and a general store where one could buy a lunch as well as gas (the typical "eat here and get gas" establishment), and that also housed the post office. Purchasing a soft drink (colloquially called a "cold drank"), I said to the woman who ran the place, "It sure is quiet and peaceful out in the country, isn't it?" She replied, "I wouldn't know; I've always lived here in town"!
At HANGING LIMB I saw them cut down two men from the tree, SKINEM, and throw their SKULLBONE(s) into BONE CAVE! “How horrible,” I thought. "They could have just drowned them in the RED BOILING SPRINGS."
Driving on eastward, I landed on the STRAWBERRY PLAINS but found no strawberries. I decided to hunt for pigeons at PIGEON FORGE but instead of pigeons I saw ONLY bumper-to-bumper traffic. Driving was indeed DIFFICULT. So I headed for the SHADY VALLEY located high in the mountains of East Tennessee, stopping for another break in the shade of CHIQUAPIN GROVE. When I began my journey I had no idea that such a PANDORA(‘s) box of sights and sounds would be opened to me.
For others who might be interested in taking a trip through our beautiful state they need to know before they start that Fayetteville is not in Fayette County, Franklin is not in Franklin County, neither Henderson nor Hendersonville is in Henderson County, Jackson is not in Jackson County, Lake City is not in Lake County, Lewisburg is not in Lewis County, Madisonville is not in Madison County, Maury City is not in Maury County, McMinnville is not in McMinn County, Rutherford is not in Rutherford
County, Scott’s Hill is not in Scott County, Shelbyville is not in Shelby County, Tiptonville is not in Tipton County, Union City is not in Union County, and neither White Bluff, White House, nor Whitesville is in White County.
These are only a few of the many reasons why Tennessee is such a fascinating state. Come for a visit anytime!
Hugh Fulford
May 31, 2011
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